My Morning – If this were a movie, no one would believe it

I tell you, I have just about had all I can take here. Women my age are taking cruises, going to the spa, shopping at Tiffany’s & visiting their grandchildren.
Alas, not me.

6 am came as usual, except I was very tired. We had very strong, blustery, hot wind gusts all night, ushering in Ernesto’s entrance. I slept with one eye open, hoping I would wake up before my roof fell in on top of me.

Once up, I went about my usual routine; unlocked the front door, coffee on the deck, checking for wind damage, feeding all my animals. As usual, I put Zoe Monster, the attack dog out to patrol,locked my metal security door & went to take my shower. All set to go to work, house secured, I could not unlock the metal front door. Try as I might, pumping the WD 40, it would not budge. The wind had cocked the door a bit, so I used a screw driver to try & push it up from the bottom, tapped the rusty lock with a hammer & tried with all my might to get the key to turn in the lock. My one key bent & almost broke off. I have burglar bars on all the windows. I am trapped in my own house. Panic.

Who can I call for help on Sunday morning when everything is closed? Barry, a “master electrician”, as he refers to himself, had been over twice to work on my generator before the hurricane hits & said in parting, “call me if you have a problem.” This certainly qualified as a “problem.”

Thank God he answered the phone, as early in the morning as it was. He went down a verbal list of what to try, all of which I had, so I begged him to come break me out of my house. He & his girlfriend would hop on their scooter & be right over to take the door off….20 minutes away.

Relief flooded through me. I am also upset because it is a major El Salvadoran Holiday and there are lots of shoppers today and I am late to work, which I detest. On top of that I have a hurricane to deal with.

Then it hit me. The Zoe Monster attack dog is out. No one can come near the property. No one can come & save me. She will eat Barry.

Freaking out, I ran out to my little bedroom balcony where I keep an aluminum fire escape ladder. The chains hook over the railing. The balcony is old & weak & leaning and it is straight down to concrete and razor sharp iron shore.If the old ladder chains or the railing give way & I crack my head open, still no one can come help me…too risky.

Trapped.

I checked each window, looking at the rusted old burglar bars. Maybe….
Adrenaline took over & with a hammer I beat on the bars viciously and finally broke through. I climbed out the window onto the deck, with my nearly broken in half door key & low & behold the door unlocked effortlessly from the outside. I just got Zoe inside when Barry pulled up to the rescue scene.
Barry, looking rather astounded by what I had done to the burglar bars set to work and I fled to Penelope’s.

The lock has been taken apart, frozen up with rust & salt corrosion, cleaned, reinstalled and the bars put back on as much as is possible.

Oh, and by the way? The generator won’t start.
So, how was your Sunday morning?

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