Come On Over…..Yeeee Hawww! WHO COULD MAKE THIS STUFF UP????
 Even after 13 years living on Roatan, something amazing continues to remind me what a “unique” place Roatan is.
Last night I arrived home quite late after a big grocery shopping after work. It was pitch black outside my house as the batteries in my solar torches need replacing. I was sitting in the dark on the steps, surrounded by 10 boxes and bags of food, trying to figure out how to turn on the flashlight on my new phone and fumbling around for my keys. In total darkness I heard someone’s footsteps crunching slowly up my gravel driveway. I could make out several black shapes coming up the driveway slowly in the dark heading straight towards me.I quickly scooted up the stairs, backwards, on my behind thinking frantically about the book I memorized years ago, “How To Survive The Unthinkable.”…Weapons. I had a bag of bananas in one hand and a pineapple in the other. So startled I had dropped my phone & keys. I could make out 6 dark shapes, crunching forward slowly. A Black Panther Gang Initiation? Swat Team Assassins?
Almost upon me I heard and finally made out six gigantic steer, as in male cows…………I have a circular driveway, so their leader apparently decided they should go around and around.Finally they herded by tripping the not so lightly fantastic, trampling my newly planted tender plumeria and heliconia……….
Now, I live in a walled, gated and guarded community with several million dollar homes in the small community. I highly doubt the guard let them in. The only other access is the beach, which is also patrolled. Suddenly I heard huffing, mooing, grunting and bellowing to my left.. It seems the 7th member of the evening strollers found himself trapped in a large stand of overgrown palm trees.
Now my normal reaction to abnormal situations is very inappropriate laughing attacks. The more he mooed, huffed, grunted and bellowed the more I guffawed and bellowed, helplessly laughing, snorting and crying. Finally, he somehow plowed through the palm trees and clomped off.
Took me forever to find keys, phone and drag groceries up the stairs, unlock the door & turn on lights in complete hysterical laughing fit meltdown.
I’ve met a lot of cowboys since the Dallas/Houston flights started coming to Roatan, but never dreamed they brought their Emotional Support Cattle with them……
Soooo, how was your evening? Now ya’ll come on down. Roatan is indeed an interesting destination, to say the least!